Pause

Temporarily on hold.






Surprisingly, unexpectedly, liberating and wonderful.😍

Rest in Peace

She swore to serve us for her entire life, and she has been The Queen for my entire life.

I knew it was coming but I am stopped in my tracks - slightly surprised at how shocked, numb and bereft I feel.

We will not see the likes of her again - honour, dignity, grace, integrity - values which don’t seem to count for so much these days.

Amidst all the media coverage and public outpourings it must not be forgotten that her children, her grand-children, and their children too have lost someone very dear.

Rest in Peace, your Majesty.

Wordsworth House, Cockermouth

I should be upfront and say that (in my rarely humble opinion) unless you are a great fan of Wordsworth's writing then I am not quite sure what the appeal of this particular National Trust property would be. After decades of studying Medieval history my interests have slipped back in time and I am now far more likely to get excited about Mesolithic and Neolithic sites although I will grudgingly make time for Bronze Age studies 😁, so this place is a few thousand years too modern for my tastes. But I was determined to do "holiday things" this week and as energy levels (or lack of them) discounted big fell-walking days I thought that visiting somewhere almost on my doorstep would be a good move.

After Monday's unexpected closure I went in early yesterday and the very helpful and professional reception staff thanked me for returning and handed over a guidebook, free of charge, to say sorry for the day before. I admit after flicking through the book I quietly popped it back on the counter on my way out - they can sell it to someone who is really interested.


















The house is much smaller inside than the street front would imply and I am sure by NT standards it's very well done. I found the kitchen area the most interesting, and was saddened to overhear part of a guides' tour telling visitors that there were no servant quarters, and that the cook/housekeeper who was known to have lived in the house at the same time as Wordsworth had no room of her own and probably slept on a pallet in the kitchen. It seems that 250 years on and not much has changed - it reminded me the dreadful stories of modern slavery which make headlines.











Despite all my grumbling, it was a pleasant hour and I am glad I made the effort but as far as this period of English literature is concerned I am a philistine and the displays were mostly wasted on me.

A small win and a small fail

Oh dear, been too fully occupied with ordinary life to go on blog-worthy van trips.

Pacing myself so as not to do too much on any one day and then spend the next two or three completely exhausted is working fairly well but it does mean I do not always get as much done as I would like, although on the upside I am tearing through the big "To Be Read" pile at a fantastic pace!

This week I am meant to be in Scotland. It was all carefully planned with a ferry crossing identified, campsites earmarked, and backup campsites if the first choices were not available. And nothing was booked - I had decided to leave it until 72 hours before my planned departure so I had a reasonable idea of what the weather was going to be doing. Rather glad that despite spending hours making plans I had the courage to pull out and say "not this week, thank you" after seeing a forecast for wind, rain, thunderstorms, followed by more wind and rain.



Instead, I declared I was having a 'holiday at home'. Which began yesterday with a small win and a small fail:


I decided to visit the National Trust place in town (Wordsworth’s house) and arrived to find it closed due to lack of volunteers. I shall try again later this week, a fail but only a small one. I did get to wander around the garden for a little while.








With a spare couple of hours I had a long session with the chaps at our tyre/battery place and have ordered a new leisure battery for the Blue Bus. Due to space limitations and the type of battery required it has been hard to find a replacement. Whilst it should not need changing at just over a year old I suspect it has not been well looked after previously. At the weekend I fitted a monitor to it and have proved what I already “knew” which was that it doesn’t hold a charge properly.

Too busy and too hot

My dear little van and I have run around together every day this week, but none of it has been "interesting" fell walking / camping / campervan stuff. Just terribly ordinary bits & bobs, but no less lovely for that.

I am nearly the only person I know who does not find this heat too much - but as I am retired I can pace myself, stay out of the sun in the middle of the day, and choose where and when I go out. This heatwave has almost given me permission to sit around and read at times during the day when I would normally be doing something, and I think my long-Covid fatigue is much better as a result. Hmm, there appears to be a lesson here 🤔 🤔 🤔.




Earlier in the year I took up a new sport and to my surprise and delight found I am rather good at it. So much so that I have had competitive matches two days this week followed by a long & hot afternoon of coaching. So that was Blue Bus and I out for three consecutive days.

There has been gardening early in the morning before the sun really gets going, grass cutting and Himself bravely got the brush cutter out and took down one of the wildflower meadows. We have let the 'hay' dry for a few days but this weekend I really must make time to rake it all up. The other patch happily seems to have developed itself into a late flowering meadow so we will leave that for a few more weeks.



There has been laundry, and general housekeeping and grocery shopping, and a trip to the hairdresser yesterday afternoon to be greeted with "it is always lovely to see you but you're 24 hours early". I definitely had it written on my diary for Friday and suspect the mistake is not mine - I never go to the salon at weekends when it is busy and noisy. But this afternoon I will be back for a much-needed trim and a tidy up.


Those small bottles of water go in the fridge and are handed out to all delivery people who are ALWAYS so thankful, it continues to stagger me there are some people around accepting parcels but not offering drinks to the hard working staff who are saving us having to go out. It was the same during lockdown ☹️.

In the midst of all this relatively mundane and normal activity there are no plans to go away in the Blue Bus and add a few more miles to my Coast By Campervan project. But at present that is not a problem - campsites are never my favourite places in the middle of school holidays and with temperatures reaching silly-degrees it would really not be pleasant trying to sleep in a tin can. At lunchtime yesterday my thermostat recorded 28˚ indoors, and that was despite having had all the windows open since getting up and all the blinds pulled to keep the heat at bay. When I went to the 'not-a-hair-appointment' it was even hotter.



(Good grief, that thermostat needs a damn good clean, how embarassing . . .)



I have often quietly mumbled that if I were ever to go missing the best place to start searching would be Portugal. I know of a small place inland in the middle of the country, where tourists seldom venture. Once upon a time I nearly moved there and occasionally I wonder what life would have been like had I not been too afraid to take a leap of faith all those years ago? But now I look at 40˚ heat, drought, wildfires and terrible devastation . . . and perhaps there was a reason I did not move? This week is probably the hottest I have experienced since moving to Cumbria and whilst we have had rain the reservoirs are low and stocks of bottled water in the supermarkets are lower than usual. I think everyone is a little worried (and those who are not and blithely say they are not affected are probably idiots).

No big trips out but lots of van time

And another week - whoosh. It is strange (in a good way) having a van as my everyday vehicle: the feeling of obligation, that I "ought" to go off somewhere, make use of the vehicle and do something "significant" which I always had with Bill has gently melted away. I had an event to attend on Monday evening and was organised enough to arrive about 40 minutes early. Instead of just sitting around I made a mug of tea, sat in the back of Blue Bus and just relaxed, it was quite, quite lovely.



The main van activity this past week has been cleaning. Semi-obsessive "let's do this properly" cleaning which involved snow-foam, a hand wash, then a degreaser, then a iron/corrosion remover, then another wash, followed by Himself going over the whole van with clay, then a polish, then a carnauba wax. Yep, eight processes which should have been nine but I missed out the paint restorer stage because I didn't think it was needed.

Yes, it is a lot of work but why not? I do not live in a dirty house so why would I want to go out and enjoy myself in a dirty van?



All this insanity has been spread over four days and wasn't nearly as tiring as it sounds.




And talking of tiring: yes, the fatigue and effects of long-Covid are still ever present. I continue to read, research, think, and do my best to look after my body in the hope that being sensible for a few months (or as long as it takes) will give me the best chance of, one day, being fully recovered and back to my previous energy levels. Reading Bruce Campbells' site and learning about pacing, and stopping before you are worn out has been exceptionally helpful. As has the friend whose emails give support and advice - thank you my dear, you know who you are. 🥰

I am sure at some point Blue Bus and I will go away on holly-bobs, but in the meantime I am focussing on relaxing and:

Our first adventure (which was very small and not very adventurous)

A gentle day out, not had one of them for far too long. Lovely drive into the Park after breakfast and a cheeky turn into a road which clearly said it was closed.

Which it was - but a little local knowledge can be a very useful thing and I knew I could still get to a small car park on the far side of the water.

Blue Bus enjoyed a terrific view all day:

When I eventually managed to tear myself away from the van and go for a walk it was rather lovely. In perfect temperatures and sunshine I was able to stroll along the closed road knowing the only vehicle I might encounter was the odd bike. Super views as I wandered along under Helvellyn, near total silence and it was quite, quite lovely. Until I got to the United Utilities version of The Bridge of Khazad-dûm - You Shall Not Pass. Only you could if you clambered over a small wall and went around a rocky outcrop, which I chose not to do. So just a couple of miles on foot but very enjoyable they were.










I had a plan after that: lunch back at the van, then a walk in the opposite direction. Lunch was great, but I got too comfy, way way too comfy and spent the entire afternoon relaxed in my Blue Bus and read nearly a whole book. I kept thinking "wasn't I meant to be doing something else?" followed by "nah, the walk will still be here next week" The unaccustomed and total rest did me good, I think.


And the cherry on top of a perfectly iced cup-cake sort of day 🧁? I saw Helen Mirren! No, not that one:



This one:



She was parked outside a rather lovely pub/restaurant and what looked like production crew were getting stuff out of the back, I couldn't stop to take a photo so the dashcam will have to do.


The verdict from my first full day in Blue Bus?  💐 Absolute Result 💐 . It is a very, very different experience from being in Bill, just about everything has to be done in a different, very intentional way but that's absolutely fine. I admit to having been a teeny bit concerned about how I would find the reduced "living" space (which is about a quarter of what I am used to) but it was lovely. Can't wait to get out next week and do it all over again ☺️ .

Serendipity

But what about the beloved Bill I hear you ask? I asked myself the same question. When I became the very proud owner of a Devon Aztec motorhome/campervan I truly thought "this was it" and I would never need to change leisure vehicles again. But here is what happened:

Last year we very casually tossed around the idea of changing the campervan. Without Daisy (who never liked the van and only tolerated the car)



and with Himself no longer wanting to overnight in a metal box, there really was far far too much space for one little me. I packed two or three times more than I needed just because there were cupboards to fill, never used a fraction of it, and on my last Scotland holiday got thoroughly, thoroughly, totally hacked off at the number of places I could not park because of the size of the vehicle.

And then we did nothing.

In June we talked about it again. Not being able to get under parking height barriers had become increasingly irritating and I felt a growing discomfort about having two large vehicles, neither of which were covering enough miles to justify their ownership, plus the unquantifiable feeling which came out of nowhere that it was just the right thing to do.

And then the Doubting Voice of Doom stuck its tuppence-worth in: the one that waffled on about: not taking risks, staying with the status quo even if it was not really working, was it ostentatious to get a newer vehicle when there are people in my village struggling to pay their heating bills, owning one vehicle for everything instead of two is much more sensible but it is a big step, and so it went on . . . I am really good at talking myself out of things before I have even started and I very nearly convinced myself to put this idea away again and just be very grateful for what I already had.


However . . .

I don’t know if you have particularly followed the vehicle supply situation since Covid started, but ’staycations’ have resulted in a massive demand for leisure vehicles, there is some component shortage in Asia that I do not fully understand, less new vehicles are coming off the production line as a result, and the second hand market has gone crazy because there is more demand than supply.**



[**, the salesman told Himself if he took an order for a new VW-based camper the wait will be at least 12, maybe 18 months with no price guarantee and from what I am reading on forums online where people write about how long they are waiting for VW's they have on order, I believe him.]



Anyway we said “well, we will start to have a casual look, but I bet we will not see anything we like for ages”. I truly expected the search to take somewhere between six and twelve months. It took less than SIX HOURS from first phone call to sitting in the van I knew we would buy! I took that as a sign The Goddess thought I really should do this, and who am I to argue with a Deity?


Himself had found a VW conversion listed for sale at (probably) the nearest dealer to home which in itself is something of a result when you live as remotely as we do. I phoned and during my conversation about the van that was actually in stock I was told of another which had a specification that suited me even better, was not yet on the website and had come in as a part-exchange. At this point it was not just The Goddess directing things - all the planets had joined in to align perfectly.


So we went and saw this:




And went back the following day for a test drive which was hugely successful, eventful to the point that the re-telling will become one of those stories which is trotted out every Christmas (and will have its own post when I have nothing else to write about) and I signed the papers on the spot. Evidence of the ludicrous state of the leisure vehicle market is that I sold Bill as part-exchange and received virtually the same £££ as I paid for her four years ago.


As I started the process of depersonalising Bill a few days later I felt no sadness, no remorse which told me it was definitely the right decision.

Sewing

Hello my lovelies, it's been a few days but that is OK. I have been terribly tired but now I have told you about the long-Covid I no longer feel there is a need to apologise or explain - most liberating!

It will come as no surprise to anyone that there has been a little "Van Sewing". Nothing like the scale of past endeavours, Blue Bus does not need me to make fancy window covers (she has very fancy built-in blinds) or big quilts for the beds (there isn't room!) but I have managed some bespoke making for my lovely bus. There is more than this, but to be honest these are the bits which photographed the best 😉.


First there is a "thing" which is both a bag for the Disklok security device and a cover to protect the steering wheel when it's in use. Made from a mat of Bill's which I have repurposed.










Decorating a little neoprene pouch so that my drink bottle fits into the door pocket without rattling around.





A new mat to fit the worktop, and one to cover the sink & hob glass lids.



I managed to scratch these on Bill by not making a cover immediately, lesson learned (and yes, there may have been a little extra effort to get those repeats to line up).







As yet there have not been any notable big (or small) adventures. We've popped out to the shops and around the local area, probably every other day, but a trip away is going wait until Blue Bus has been and had her own overnight stay back at the dealer. We have found a couple of small issues that are not surprising on a previously used vehicle and Hartley's will be fixing everything and more. Their customer service has been exemplary to date and I am very pleased we chose this company as our dealer. I will take her down next Thursday morning and collect on Friday afternoon. After that, the fun can begin properly!

A Covid-shaped Elephant in the room

I do not normally talk about this.

I am not one for accepting a label, being judged or defined by something which I feel is not 'me'. I have ALWAYS been the Energiser Bunny accomplishing more in a 'normal' day than friends thought was acceptable for an entire week, but that is no longer the case and I am not happy about it. However someone I trust has said "open up, it might help you and it might help someone else". I argued this new blog is meant to be solely about my campervan until I realised how inextricably linked the two are. So here goes:

I still have long-Covid and at times it is crippling, stops me dead in my tracks.

I have now had Covid twice - once in early 2020 just after the school half-term break when it's thought the disease came back to the UK with folk who had been skiing, and a year later after my first vaccination. Both times I was quite poorly, but thankfully not bad enough to be hospitalised. Having experienced post-viral fatigue after 'regular' influenza on a couple of occasions in the last 20 years I was not really surprised to find that I spent most of 2020 completely wiped out with exhaustion, brain fog and many other (now) well-known symptoms.

At the beginning of 2021 I seemed to have recovered so it was massively disappointing to be ill again in April of that year. This is how Madam felt in March 2015 and how I now feel most of the time:



The details do not really matter because everyone seems to have a very different response, but with meta*-analysis there are enough commonalities that have led me to finally accept that I am one of millions whose lives are not the same as before a small viral particle found the human body to be a wonderful host.

It is why I have not been away on any camping trips yet this year, why the garden is going feral and has not received a fraction of the attention it needs, why I have had the Blue Bus home for a week and still not managed to finish cleaning her and loading up the cupboards.



If you think you or a friend/loved one is also dealing with this then there is an NHS website which covers the issues quite well, but does not offer any magic cures.


So there you go - Blue Bus IS going to help me move forward. She is so much easier to drive and park than Bill ever was. Having all my "facilities" onboard all the time means that when I need to sit and rest I can - trying to catch a 15-minute nap in a car never works. And now I am "out" then I do not have to pretend to be happy and energetic, so my dear friend is probably right (as usual!) Telling you this might help me and it might help someone else.

Sue was quite right that my new Wilko boxes were destined for the boot area, but I am probably going to return to the beaten up, bashed & scuffed and very robust Sheep Lick tubs which have served so well in all the other leisure vehicles 🤪 😜 .




(* I mean that in the context of examining multiple medical studies, nothing to do with a massive social media company)

Quart into pint pot?

Depending upon your viewpoint Bill was either a large campervan or small motorhome, either is correct. She had capacious storage and I know I carried far too many 'extras, just in case'. The Subaru was used as a 'day van' and equipped with tea making stuff, large first aid kit, change of clothes and goodness knows what else. Between the two vehicles I emptied out this and more:







Which now has to be slimmed down and organised into just these boxes and the built-in cupboards.



Even my duplicates have duplicates 🙄 🙄 🙄.

I know why I have baggage-bloat: starting with a large caravan and a large car it was easy to include something "just in case", follow this up with a modified delivery van with living space about twice that of my bathroom and it continued to be easy to add items "just in case". This time around everything has to be carefully selected, something I absolutely know I will use and if possible, be capable of serving two purposes.

I am trying to be more realistic: it is not as if I will be travelling for months into a consumer-free wilderness. In the UK I am unlikely to be out of reach of a shop for more than 48 hours, even if it is a tiny, local store in the Highlands (in which case, putting a bit more money into the local economy is a Very Good Thing). I do NOT need to carry quite so much spare kitchen paper, loo roll, washing up liquid and all the other detritus which seemed like such a good idea and was never, ever used.


And I really need to get the inside of the house cleared up so that I can relax (and before the piles of "stuff" and chaos completely overwhelm me).