Going it alone

Sue in Suffolk left a lovely comment and said she would like to be brave enough to do a similar trip, and Vix egged me on, so here goes. I have included Amazon links not because I expect to earn any money from you but to show what I am talking about (assuming they work . . . I may not have set them up properly). Most items have increased in price since I purchased them, but I did not buy everything in one go, it has taken a few years to collect everything.

I am NOT brave, truly I can be a massive wimp and a coward. If I was brave I'd have been on that ferry to Orkney, or the Kylerhea ferry to Skye.

I would love to see more older ladies do trips on their own. You do not have to go so far, or for so many days. But each journey is surprisingly liberating, wonderfully empowering and helps build confidence for the rest of whatever life throws at us. And let's face it, post-menopause life does tend to throw all sorts of rubbish at us and self-confidence can be one of the many things to suffer.

You do not need to be brave to travel solo. First off, did I mention that I AM NOT BRAVE. I am, however, more than a little risk-averse, so all I have done is think about what MY risk factors are (which may well be different to yours) and work out how to minimise those risks, or have a Plan B if something does happen.

It just takes a little bit of planning and the knowledge that I'm not going to Outer Mongolia or some far-flung corner of anywhere. I am unlikely to be ~that~ far from a shop, cafe, or in the worst case - a house where I could stop and knock on the door to ask for assistance. I am not good at asking for help, ever, but on the rare occasions I've needed information, guidance (or whatever) I generally find myself surprised and amazed at how kind and helpful people are. Certainly on campsites I find that people want me to succeed - I am often offered help even when I do not need it.


So here is my completely unscientific and unauthorised guide to going it alone, in no particular order other than what popped into my brain as I wrote this. It has become rather long, sorry 🤓, but as I started to list things I have learned/worked out since I started going away alone I realised there is quite a lot which I now take for granted that was, once upon a time, new or unknown to me.


Possible risk: Being in the wrong leisure vehicle
Although I only have a fraction of the living space in Blue Bus that I enjoyed in Bill, a smaller vehicle is much, much easier and far less tiring. Being able to slip into a normal sized parking space and an Auto gearbox have been game-changers. I am absolutely certain that I enjoyed myself more and was far less stressed and tired driving a van which is shorter than a big Audi, BMW or Mercedes, and has less width than a big Range Rover or Jaguar. This is definitely an area where Less is More.


Possible risk: running out of fuel
I never, if I can help it, let the fuel tank drop below one-third and one-half is my absolute FILL UP NOW point. That way I know I always have enough diesel to drive pretty much anywhere. Even in the wilderness which is the Scottish Highlands I was never more than an hour or two from "civilisation". Unless you were being particularly cavalier or careless I cannot see how you could run out of fuel?




Possible risk: not being able to get help if you need it
Mobile phone signals are surprisingly good in the most remote places.



Even here I had a full 4G signal and was emailing photos directly back to Himself at home:



Possible risk: getting lost
Learn how to read a map - it really is not difficult, plan your route well in advance (thank you Google maps), scout things ahead of your trip with StreetView so that you will recognise important landmarks and junctions whilst you are driving.

I bought a separate SatNav because I have always trusted Garmin equipment and the one I have put in Blue Bus is superb. Do not rely solely on technology - it can and will fail and paper maps take up very little space in a vehicle.

edit: Brilliant suggestion from Graham, thank you:
I would just add one small point about one's location if in need of assistance. These days one can be pinpointed to a 3 metre square (near enough) by using What3Words ( https://what3words.com/ ). Even if one is out walking in the local woods the local police/rescue people can find you easily. There is a phone app. It's used by all the emergency services these days especially on mountains and in rural areas.

Amazon link - I might earn about one penny if you bought one!
Garmin "DriveSmart"

Possible risk: breaking down
I have breakdown cover for the van, it is regularly serviced and the tyres (including the spare) are checked far more frequently than is probably necessary. Two credit cards in case one fails, and cash hidden for a emergency. If I was stuck at the roadside waiting for help I would feel much safer in the Scottish Highlands than in the middle of a large town.

If something else breaks (either me or in the van) I have a first aid kit, a simple tool-kit and know how to use both.


Possible risk: gas bottle running out or the cooking hob fails
I carry spares of all the van-stuff which I consider important. Your priorities will vary, but at the very least I have clean, bottled drinking water and one of those small "cassette" gas units which run off butane cans so I can always make a hot drink, cook pasta, heat up a bottled sauce.

Amazon link:
Camping Gaz Stove


Possible risk: running out of food
In the extremely unlikely event I ran out of fresh food, I always carry some dried pasta, a couple of packets of pre-cooked Tilda rice, and various jars which could be combined to make a hot sauce. That, accompanied by a mug of tea, will go a long way to sorting out most problems, even if it is just keeping sane whilst you wait for a roadside breakdown truck to appear.




Possible risk: the fridge fails
See above for how to eat very well from packets and jars.


Possible risk: the water pump or water heater fail
That is why I have bottles of water and a kettle, and the portable gas stove thingy. I can always heat water for a drink or if I need a wash.


Possible risk: Personal safety
I think this is the biggest concern, even though most people perhaps could not say exactly what they were afraid of.

My van (and I expect most modern vehicles) has automatic door-locking as soon as I drive off so no-one is going to jump into the back of the vehicle when I stop at traffic lights and abduct me! I'm also fortunate that Blue Bus has extremely dark privacy glass so whilst I can see out perfectly well, no-one can see in unless they clamber around the front or rear windscreen and I am likely to notice that.

Generally when I stop for tea/coffee/lunch if I've not got a door open for ventilation then I will keep the vehicle locked so I know I am quite safe should I doze off (yes, it has happened 😴 ).

I always stay on campsites. I could free-load in a parking area in the middle of nowhere but I choose not to. I like knowing that I'll have an electric hook-up overnight and will be starting tomorrow with all my batteries fully charged whilst putting some money into the local economy.   I am not worried about bathroom facilities because Blue Bus has a little toilet and for a night or two I can have a 'sink wash'.

Whilst an idylic remote parkup might look great late afternoon you never know who/what is going to turn up after you've got yourself settled. Spending the night either worried to go outside your own vehicle or having to drive off in the dark and look for somewhere else is not my idea of a relaxing holiday.


Possible risk: Other people being gits
With age and increasing risk-averseness (is that a word?) I know I drive a little more slowly and more cautiously than I may have done in my youth. If someone wants to be in front of me, I let them. If someone is determined to barge past my vehicle when I have right of way, I let them. Avoiding an accident is more important than arriving 15 seconds sooner.

I have two dashcams running at all times. Obviously one in the front windscreen as usual, but when I sold two vehicles in order to get Blue Bus I found I had a spare and that is now mounted in the rear. I have never needed either, and hope I never will, but it gives peace of mind - the moment when a man walked in front of me in Ullapool will take a lot of forgetting.

I have a fully-charged mobile phone at all times, and a spare battery pack for an emergency top up if I am going anywhere that involves a rucksack and miles of walking.

Amazon link:
Lightweight battery pack

I am registered with the police so that if the mobile signal was weak enough that I could not phone "999" I could get a text through.
Everyone should sign up to this service even if you do not go away, you never know when you might need it.

click this link: 999-text-service


Possible risk: getting wet
If I get soaked I always have a change of clothes at hand, and this was the case even before I had a campervan. It doesn't take much organisation to equip the back of your car with supplies for a "Day-venture". As well as essentials for Daisy, in the back of the Subaru I carried spare clothes in case I got really wet, or needed another fleece layer, one of the cassette stoves to heat water, plus kettle, mug, bottled water, tea bags, powdered milk {yuk, but better than black tea} and a couple of nut/cereal bars. Sometimes that is all you need to turn a normal journey into a very restorative outing. I found a couple of old photos of the car - even with the junk I carried about there was still room for all the shopping, and to sit in the boot with the tailgate open and have a brew.



(Here I will point out that I did not put my stove right under someone's bumper - he arrived and parked that close once I was set up and brewing)




Possible risk: being cold
Like many campervans, Blue Bus has a diesel heater which uses only a tiny bit of fuel and is so effective I can only run it for 20 minutes before I am too hot. If that should fail and I am on a campsite I carry a very small electric heater that will make use of electric hookup.

If all that fails I can boil a kettle, fill a hot water bottle, or use a fleece blanket which has a 12V heating circuit in it. So that I do not drain either the engine battery or the camper leisure battery I also carry a battery pack which could run the blanket for hours if necessary (and the battery pack could also jump start the van, charge my phone, iPad, and anything else which needs topping up).

Amazon link:
Heated Fleece Blanket

Amazon link, this one started my Subaru on many occasions:
Jump start battery


Possible risk: being lonely
Honestly, that is NEVER going to happen. I have spent most of my life alone and thoroughly enjoy my own company, I actively seek out the pure bliss of total peace, silence and solitude. However, on the rare occasions I do want to talk to someone it is remarkably easy to have incredibly interesting conversations with total strangers whilst on holiday: in shops, at eagle-watching viewpoints, in antique centres, in cafes, at campsites.

I suspect it is actually easier for a single lady to get into a conversation than a man or a couple.


Possible risk: forgetting something critical or vital
I am going to start by assuming that you are not an idiot and if something (medication? credit cards?) is THAT vital then you will not forget it. If you do find yourself miles from home without a critical item:

a) realise it was not that critical after all.
b) buy a replacement either from the nearest shopping centre or have Amazon deliver it to your campsite.
c) turn around and drive home: this is meant to be a holiday, fun, enjoyable and if you absolutely cannot live without whatever you left behind then go and get it. If you leave a place then you already know the route and can go back there another time!



One of the best things I have learned from the last few years in caravans and motorhomes is just how little you really need to be warm, comfortable and well fed. I am ~not~ trying to recreate being at home (in which case I should stay there), I am camping - just not in a tent. You do not need much in the way of spares to know that there's a backup if Plan A fails. Knowing that Plan B is just a cupboard/tub-in-the-boot away gives a huge amount of peace of mind and THAT is often all you need to have the confidence to have a go.


If you sit down and write a list of what you are afraid of, and then work out how you would deal with each dire possibility should it occur, then you are ready to travel!

Two more things: if I have forgotten something obvious please do point it out, and PLEASE blog about your adventures because we all love armchair travel.



and a PS:
Whilst I really love and appreciate every comment, if all you are planning is telling me you CAN'T then please do not bother.

Even those of you who know me only know part of me.
You have no idea what I have overcome to get here.

If I can use a car as a 'day van' or go out in a campervan on my own, so can you.